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Interstellar Interview

Interstellar Interview – a fictional interview

C: Hi, I’m Chat Chitterson and welcome to Who’s That? with Chat Chitterson. My guest today is 5-time Person of the Year, Winner of this year’s Olympus Mons 500, Ruler of Omicron Persei 7 and Interplanetary Man of Mystery; Andrew Bowers. Mr. Bowers thank you for joining me today.

A: Well Chum that (points at Chat) is a good question. Where does a man of my unique abilities and overwhelming charm come from? Some say that I must be from a magical realm where children are born with innate leadership abilities and rugged good looks. Others have claimed that I stepped through a gateway from a universe in which all people just have that ‘IT’ factor. Whatever the case may be, I do remember where I came from and that is the secret to keeping me grounded.

C: And it is that ‘IT’ factor that seems to keep your face on the cover of the Interstellar Inquirer. People across the quadrant are itching to know more about you. Are you currently in a relationship?

A: Now now, Chick, a gentleman never kisses and tells. Of course I have relationships. I have (air quotes) RELATIONSHIPS all over the galaxy. It’s not something I like to brag about as I do like to keep my personal life private but you can read all about it in my auto-biography on sale now in all good bookstores.

C: Do you have any plans to go into the entertainment world?

A: Oh my yes, as you know Omicron Persei 7 is within a few light years of Hollyworld and I plan on conquering it as a part of my re-election campaign. Everybody loves a good action flick and what better way to make an action flick than to turn on a camera in a war zone?

C: My final question today is concerning your flagging support in the upcoming election. Are you concerned with the latest poll results which show you down by as much as 15%?

A: Champ, I will not sit here and be insulted by your rumor-mongering and lies! Those polls are non-scientific, unprofessional and unreliable! In fact, this interview is over!

C: Well that seems to be all the time we have today. Thank you for joining me on Who’s That? I’m Chat Chitterson. Good night.

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